One thing I’ll never forget is how and where I realised my Target bag wasn’t real Bottega. I was standing in the lift at Style Compass USA (at least, some pretentious name like that). I was dressed in my typical WFH getup: oversized blazer, vintage Levis, and boots that I bought when I was feeling bullish on my income and buyer’s remorse when I saw my credit card bill.
It was Monday morning. I had slept too little and drank too much coffee the night before and felt bad about life choices. We were expecting samples from three designers for an upcoming shoot at the closet, my inbox was already blowing up with request-for-follow-ups I hadn’t yet replied to, and I was drafting text in my head to excuse why I hadn’t finished writing that article about up-and-coming knitwear brands yet.
And then Katherine Wang walked into the lift. Yes, Katherine Wang, our EIC who made Anna Wintour stand in her office for two minutes before the big lady allowed her in and lived to blog about it later, looked me up and down and said, “That Bottega bag is a good investment piece.
I’ve been considering getting the same one for myself.” I almost spit out my oat milk latte.
The bag in question; an olive boxy leather tote with just a few thin leather straps for handles; was giving off major Bottega Veneta energy.
Warm cognac leather, buttery soft leather, no flashy logos screaming for attention because luxury makers know REAL PEOPLE KNOW TO STAY AWAY. The only problem?
It absolutely was not Bottega Veneta. Not even. Thanks,?” I muttered as my entire brain shouted: *IT’ S FROM TARGET.
IT COST THIRTY-SEVEN DOLLARS AND I USED MY 5% RED CARD REWARD*. She nodded knowingly at me like we were part of some secret designer bag society I’m clearly not privy to and hopped off on the executive level. There I was, plant-milk dripping from my chin, clutching my faux investment bag like it was morphine; when the world suddenly tilted on its axis.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, THIS. BAG. CHANGED.
MY. LIFE. I suddenly felt like I’d been walking around the earth in a waking dream my entire life only to wake up and realise that the rules I thought I knew?
Pffft. Doesn’t apply to this bag. It was epiphany.
It was grocery-store holy-shit-soy latte in a bag. But let’s back up. Approximately three weeks before my life-changing lift rode, I’d gone to Target to get…the laund detergent.
Because I never go to Target and just get the things I need. ALWAYS browse sections I have zero business browsing. Case in point: THE HANDBAG SECTION.
Yep. There I was, trolling the handbags while our downstairs laundry basket overfloweth with dirties. Classic.
Me. Which is why my therapist leans back in her seat and crosses her arms at me when we discuss my “impulse control issues”. Long story short, browsing TARGET led me to find the bag that will forever haunt Katherine Wang (I’m assuming we’re on a first name basis at this point).
It was sitting atop an endcap enjoying that slanty obnoxious lighting they use to make every damn thing in Target look high-end (someone needs to tell THAT to the lighting department at my dermatologist’s office). It was from their latest collab with some designer I didn’t really know but felt like I should (sadly, NOT Donna Karan). It had the designer seal of approval but was also still in that Target price range where I’ll casually say “SURE!” when they ask if you want to round your purchase up to the nearest dollar to donate to a non-profit.
So I grabbed it. And almost immediately knew I was on to something. Some tells: -The weight.
It felt heavy. Not overly, claypool-on-lobster-steak heavy, but stop-and-you’ll-know-it’s-not-real leather heavy. -The material. Look, we all know “faux leather” is just vinyl trying to act like it has layers of$$ dreamed about but wasn’t made with quality materials.
This was NOT faux leather. It was legit leather. -The stitching. Can’t underestimate the tight, EVEN stitching on mass-made goods.
That’s where they cut corners. AND YET, the stitches on this bad boy were tiny and tight, like they actually cared about what the underside of the bag looked like. The inside smelled like that weird plastic-y smell all bags that don’t cost more than a Calvin Klein watch have.
But when I rubbed my nose on the outside…it SMELLED LIKE LEATHER. Baby cow dreams leather. Okay, but the REAL test: the price tag. “I can’t be paying this much for a bag from Target,” I said to absolutely no one in particular.
The middle-aged woman looking at wallets beside me looked up at me funny. Who was I talking to? Oh, right.
OUT LOUD. She shrugged and pointed at the bag. “I got the black one two weeks ago. All my coworkers think it’s from Gucci or something.” “Bottega?” I inquired, cocking an eyebrow. “Um, yeah?” she hesitated. “Everyone thinks it’s the more expensive Italian brand.” “You mean Bottega?” “Yeah!” she nodded. “My boss has the real one and she hasn’t noticed the difference!” Inside, I did a happy dance.
I ran to the registers, grabbed the detergent I originally went there for, and told the cashier I did NOT want to save my receipt. Let’s be clear, I have some “nice” bags. I’ve acquired them over the years through networking sample sales (you have to try REALLY hard not to look like a try-hard at those), taking full advantage of editor discounts I know you’re jealous of, and one extremely problematic post-breakup shopping spree I’m still paying off.
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Those bags will outlive me. And judging from how my friend Jennifer cried when her steal-of-a-destination-sale Chanel flap broke, probably the people who come after me. But myTARGET bag isdifferent.
It plays in the same league as my designer bags when it comes to quality. Sure, if you’re LOOKING for it you can spot the difference: my Target bag isn’t fully leather on the inside, the stitching will probably start to unravel at the corners before the bag that “cost me three months of rent”, and it will likely autumn apart years before anything I own from actual luxury brands. But it plays SUCH a good game, I don’t want anyone to ruin it for me.
Or rather. Let me rephrase. *I* don’t want anyone to ruin it for me. After realising that strangers were buying my story – not just implicitly, but actually ASSUMING my bag was from Bottega until told otherwise- I started thinking: what else at Target can fool people into THINKING they’re something they’re not? *(asterisk refers to ethical/fair labour practices, eco-friendliness, etc.) And that, dear reader, is how I unleashed my inner Felicity Porter and spent the next month convincing my friends I wasn’t suddenly shopping for bombs in the simple home goods section of Target.
Their reactions ranged from “Interesting!“ (Emma, who KNOWS me) to“WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY BAGS?? ?” (Steve, who is none the wiser). Since that fateful day with Katherine, I’ve accumulated a plethora of closet hacks and designer dupes that consistently fool the coolest kids on the designer designer block. Here are the ones DEFINITELY NOT FROM TARGET but *totally* could be: –Anbox shoulder bag from H&M’s luxe line that I’ve had complimented as “The Row” on more than one occasion.
The trick is the boxy shape and TOTAL lack of hardware/logo. For $49.99 you can pretty much robbery Hermes’ for inspiration and still come in WAY under budget. Sure, the inside of this beauty isn’t leather (HUH, TARGET?) and the edges will probably start to peel first, but a quick wipe down with some leather balm once a month and no one will ever know you got it at H&M. –These oversized Quay sunglasses that have legitimately been asked THREE TIMES if they were Celine.
The plastic is thick, and the shape is perfection; not too trendy but also not something your grandmother would wear. For $65, you can get 90% of the prestige factor without panic-ing every time you sit down. –Fake croc leather belt from Mango that everyone thinks is Gucci. The kicker?
The BUCKLE. They spent actual money on that hardware, friends. And when it comes to accessories, sometimes that’s all it takes to elevate an “okay” piece to “girl, where’d you get that?” People can sniff out cheap accessories from miles away.
And usually, it’s because they didn’t spend the dough on the small things. THIS belt is $45.90 and will fool even the toughest of leather-sniffers. – Leather loafers from The Drop (an AMAZON brand, people) that have got me more compliments than actual leather brand-name loafers I own. Why?
Well, the leather is actually GOOD quality and has only got better with age and wear. BUT. Here’s the hack: they used REAL leather for thesoles instead of an all-rubber sole like most cheap brands use.
Genuine leather SOLES are what give luxury shoes that “swish-swish” sound when you walk across a hardwood floor. No one thinks about what shoes sound like when you walk but TRUST ME, you notice a designer shoe when you hear it. Okay but here’s the thing.
I hate “duping” people. It’s sort of classist to pretend you spent hundreds or thousands of dollars on something you didn’t. The thrill for me isn’t tricking people into thinking I’m richer than I am.
The thrill is finding great DESIGN and quality products that don’t break the bank. I LOVE myTarget bag not because it’ll make people assume I spent $4000 at Bottega last season. I love it because it’s well made and COSTS LESS THAN TWO DRINKS AT THAT ROOFTOP YOU NEVER GO TO BUT WITH INTERNATIONALLY-SOAKED CABERNET.
I love that it makes me feel like I understand “the game” when we all know I bought my “designer sunglasses” at JCP and thought Eddie Bauer rugs counted as bohemian. I love that holding onto my non-story publicly mocked brand bag makes me feel like I’ve “made it” in a world that thrives on how many digits are in your credit card number. But enough about me.
I also figured out some STYLE HACKS along the way to make slightly less expensive pieces LOOK like you’ve been doing this whole “luxury lifestyle” thing since Birth. NUMBER ONE: Monochrome is KEY. I find that when everything I wear is the same colour family, my bag or accessory LOOKS more expensive.
MyTarget bag fools people the most when I’m wearing all camel or all black. When you wear multiple colours and textures, your eye focuses on each individual piece more. But when your entire outfit is one colour/material, it elevates the look as a whole.
NUMBER TWO: Throw out that extra brand label. You know the little branded logo thing they hang off of every purse they make in the shape of the company logo? RIP IT OFF.
Girlfriend got a tiny screwdriver and took approximately thirty seconds to make her less expensive bag whisper “I’ve had this since FOREVER” instead of “HECK YEAH I JUST BOUGHT THIS”. It’s the small things. NUMBER THREE: Maintenance, guys.
People can ALWAYS tell when you wear a cheap bag because it starts to look worn after ONE USE. Take of the edges of myTarget bag with the same leather balm I use on my luxury bags and no one is the wiser. shoe trees and fix those snags before they turn into holes.
And NUMBER FOUR: Pair strategically.
Wearing a designer shoe, bag, or accessory with your less luxurious piece can also elevate the whole look.
Everyone WILL assume that if you’re wearing a Saint Laurent backpack that your basic White T by Target t-shirt is ALSO expensive. It’s not subconscious conditioning to trick people; it’s understanding that one TRUE luxury item can make your whole outfit look high-end.
Katherine wasn’t the only person who didn’t believe me when I told her my bag was from Target. When I confessed to my college friend Emma about my faux-LeBoucle bag of lies, she laughed in my face. But then she got home and TEXTED ME: Wait, are you serious?!
That can’t be from Target. I have to see this.” We headed to my local Target together and lo and behold…there were NOT! “They’re EVERYWHERE,” Emma sighed when we found the same bag had MULTIPLE spots dedicated to them. “THIS changes everything.” “? ?” I grinned, waving my bag at her like a patriotic flag. “What are you going to do with all this free time now, though?” she laughed. “Buy more bags,” I shrugged. Fast forward three months.
I ran into Katherine at Starbucks the other day. She smiled at my bag; “You still love that bag, huh?” She asked. “It’s holding up GREAT!” I replied. “Bottega’s leather is just TOP-NOTCH.” She laughed and smiled at me knowingly like we both understood the unspoken secret of her closet. But don’t worry Mum, I won’t tell.
