Last week I received one of those texts from a friend that makes you die inside a little bit. “BABE! Sarah is getting married and we’re doing a BIG hen weekend in Bristol!! SO EXCITING! !” followed by approximately fifteen party face emojis and a gif of someone popping open a champagne bottle.
I LOVE Sarah – we’ve been friends since university – and am genuinely happy for her; she’s getting married to a truly wonderful guy who I know she adores. But…I hate hen dos. Ok, let’s back up.
I hate MOST things about hen dos. The worst offender has to be the… Uniforms.
I’ve been on enough hen weekends to know that you will be required to wear something stupid.
Whether it’s idiotic “BESTIE” bucket hats, “TEAM BRIDE” L-plates slapped across your bump cover-up or absolutely anything from the ‘novelty penis-shaped belt buckle’ shop; you WILL have to wear something that, on paper, looks like a great idea but will make you feel like slinking into every photo.
I once attended my cousin Emma’s hen weekend in Blackpool and was forced to wear – along with every other bridesmaid – an hot pink velour tracksuit with “FUTURE MRS” and “TEAM BRIDE” written across the back in shiny gems. I genuinely looked like I belonged in an early noughties girl band.
Picture navigating the streets of Blackpool whilst clutching inflatable male genitalia and you’ll understand why that weekend single-handedly traumatized me into adulthood. Fast forward three years and I’ve worked out that celebrating the marriage of someone you love doesn’t mean you need to wear vomitous orange boiler suits. It just requires a little more thought from all parties involved.
And maybe letting brides know that you hate the stupid hen do “traditions” before they even ask. Namely: LET THE BRIDE KNOW. Sarah’s sister has made it clear that there will be no hatchet masks or stupid scarves for this Bristol adventure.
And because my friends know me well; they know I will boycott anything that makes me look stupid so they’ve left me alone. Here’s the thing about hen dos; you can still look cute, coordinate with everyone else and celebrate the bride in wedding-themed ways WITHOUT wearing some garish getup that makes you want to cry when you look in the hotel mirror. Trust me, I’ve mastered it.
Last summer I went on my friend Priya’s hen weekend to Bath and spent pretty much zero time cringing at how I looked in photos. How? The bride’s sister simply asked us to “dress nicely for dinner Saturday.” Yes!
Guidelines, but nothing that restricted how “nice” we wanted to dress. We all jumped on a Pinterest board and shared outfit ideas that made us feel cute, not like fools. For dinner, I wore this floral midi dress that I’d been dying to wear somewhere “special.” It was a fancier silhouette than I usually go for but still had give, so I felt comfortable dancing around someone’s hotel room blasting Beyoncé at 2am.
The colour was bold enough to pop in photos but not bright enough to blind everyone. It also had pockets which is basically the bare minimum for any outing now. Daytime hen activities included a pottery session (totally more competitive than you’d think) and wine tasting (of course it was messy).I paired high waist jeans that actually fit with a silky cami top in blush.
It was dressed up enough to feel “nice” but I could layer a jumper over it when we were hungover and just wanted to sip coffee in a pub garden. We all dressed up for dinner but kept it casual day time. Shoes are where people tend to go wrong.
You see that glitter skyscraper heel and think “YES, THAT WILL COMPLIMENT MY NEW PENIS BELT.” NEWSFLASH: You’re going to be walking ALL weekend. Through cobblestone streets. Stumbling around bars.
Maybe dancing on some surface that looks suspiciously unstable. Ladies, please learn from me. Flat sandals that go with everything are your friends.
I brought metallic flats that matched all my outfits plus a cute block heel mule for dinner. They were high enough to feel dressy but low enough that I wasn’t worried about murdering myself climbing over tables to sob into pillows when our group chat got dramatic. Hen dos are the perfect opportunity to spend more money on accessories than you probably should.
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Buy the flossy dresses but make your outfits feel individual by pairing them with special jewellery. No more cheesy everyone wearing the same stupid necklace; purchase an expensive necklace instead and SMILE BIG for the photos. For my friend Katie’s Harry Potter themed hen weekend in Edinburgh we all wore our own outfits but added adorable book-themed brooches her sister found online.
They were kitschy as hell but tied our outfits into the theme without making anyone feel like they were dragged into Diagon Alley against their will. My university friend Zara did her hen weekend in Barcelona a few years ago (before global pandemics became a thing) and her entire cocktail for us all to wear whatever we wanted BUT include her favourite colour. She loved deep blues so people wore blue dresses, blue shoes, blue scarves.
It ended up looking so stylish in photos and everyone felt amazing because they were wearing what THEY wanted to wear. Wedding Parties: Hear me out on this one. If you’re throwing a hen do for someone; ask them their favourite colour beforehand and encourage guests to wear that as an accessory.
Or go one step further – assign a colour palette rather than a uniform. When my friend Hannah did her hen do in Leeds two years ago my sister asked everyone to incorporate gold into our outfits for the big Saturday night dinner. Almost everyone wore gold jewellery but there were also sequined tops, gold heels, even one girl wore gold nail polish.
We looked amazing and coordinated in pictures but no one felt like a caricature of themselves. I’ve already picked out what I’m wearing for Bristol. Day 1 is going to be black wide-leg trousers with a sleeveless red top – red because it’s Sarah’s favourite colour – thrown on with my go-to gold hoop earrings and flat leather sandals.
Day 2 is this blue and white wrap dress that won’t crease in my suitcase(I love when clothes do this) with suede booties that have a slight heel but won’t kill my feet climbing steep streets. BONUS: all of these things are things I can wear IRL after the trip. One bonus to spending actual money on clothes (we’re trying to be ethical here people) is wanting to wear them again post-hen weekend.
I can’t wear that hot pink tracksuit shirt anywhere except to my sister’s wedding… Wedding couples – please don’t listen to anyone who tells you ditching the hendo “uniform” will make your weekend any less special. Some of my fondest hen memories are where everyone wore what THEY wanted to wear; we felt comfortable and therefore actually enjoyed celebrating the bride. That being said…little accessories can be really sweet to commemorate your trip if chosen wisely.
For my friend Nina’s Paris hen weekend her maid of honour bought us all these adorable silver bracelets with little Eiffel Towers on them. We could wear them all weekend and they weren’t overtly embarrassing, which means I still wear mine sometimes. Look, wearing stupid things at someone’s hen do doesn’t have to be mandatory.
Yes, pick an outfit that will make photos POP and YES, try to find a way to include the bride if she wants you to; but don’t feel like you need to wear an itty bitty unicorn just because that’s what everyone else is doing. Ask yourself: Would I wear this to meet the bride’s family? Would I want my boss to see me like this?
If you can answer yes to both of these questions you’re good. (No it’s not yes to the hot pink tracksuit fiasco).
Dinner time is your time to shine girl!
You’re celebrating someone’s marriage – dress up like it!
Jumpsuits are my favourite hen do hack because they’re SO easy to wear all weekend; great for bar hopping, eating bacon rolls in bed and bathroom trips post-prosecco. I’ve had this black wide leg number to at least five hen weekends (okay six) and wear it still; it just dresses up or down depending on what I throw at it. Hen dos usually have some sort of activity planned; maybe it’s a murder mystery or learning how to mix cocktails.
PLEASE dress for comfort if this is the case. There’s nothing worse than attempting to wield a wine glass without shaky hands whilst strapped into an outfit that rivals an orange boilersuit. Look after yourself on your hen do.
Wear comfy clothes that allow you to breathe and move, you’ll be invited to the wedding at some point TOO and feeling hungover and self-conscious about your outfit is NOT a great way to spend someone’s big day. Sarah knows I hate the tacky hen accessories; her sister does too. Between us we’ve made sure there will be absolutely no drilling on L-plates or wearing stupid jumpers with dancing pigs on them.
She’s asked everyone to come with a photo of them and Sarah to make a scrapbook, and wear something they feel cute in for dinner on Saturday. You honestly can’t ask for a better hen.
