The Batwing Tops Worth Your Money

It’s taken me roughly three years to stop dismissing batwing tops as ‘uni Denise wearing Bronte to cycle to Pilates’ tops. Dead wrong. Majestically, hilariously wrong. The one that converted me was actually a jersey version that I bought to pick fights with myself in (it was clutch), but happened to wear on a sweltering train to Leeds. On that commute, the air con was blowing someone’s anime fantasy come to life across our carriages and the batwing top was the only thing that didn’t feel like an attempt on my arms’ lives that day.
If you find a good batwing top it will give you the sleeve drama you crave whilst remaining entirely affixed to your body in other places. The effect is that the body of the top can stay narrow and it reads as intentional rather than homemade-distressed-on-purpose. It’s not supposed to look like you’re hiding a down blanket at someone’s house.
Essentially the armhole to hem line is your whole ticket. If there’s too much fabric poofing out at the waist then it instantly gives off that questionable rural fete vibe I spoke about earlier. Batwings should skim! The good ones will narrow in at the waist again often with a cuff or wrist band so there’s a figure hiding under all that flair.

Speaking of fabric, texture plays more of a role in this top than colour does. Don’t be tempted by a cheap batwing in stiff, cheap fabric. It will cling to you more fiercely than your ex and stand away from your body like it wants to walk itself. Look for ones that move with you. It sounds like a given but when you’ve owned the other type you’ll understand why I insist; it makes SUCH a difference and you’ll spend less time looking like a poorly constructed pup tent.

This isn’t a top you want to stuff into trousers. Think lean or think volume. Skinny jeans. A pencil skirt. A pair of narrows. Something that balances out all the fabric you’ve decided to wear on your top half. Tuck it in at the front, leave the back wonky and you’ve got shape rather than attempting to smother yourself. Throwing a structured blazer on top and rolling your sleeves up is equally useful. It stops you hovering

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Imagine: Batwing tops at a cocktail party? Sure. Batwing tops to work? No way. This tops works on the smarter end of your week. Lunch (that is actually a meeting), interviews, drinks with friends who say they work but probs don’t (Hi Emily), catching up with your parents who just want you to succeed in life (love you mum and dad). It photographs well from the front and gives you lots of delicious silhouette to hide behind from the side. Win win.