Hand Picked, The Bikinis Worth Shopping

For years I thought that if I was buying a bikini all I cared about was whether I liked the print. Boat manoeuvred itself into difficulty when she realised on a hotel pool terrace in 2019 that if you get the cut wrong you’ll spend your entire holiday watching it creep its way south and she’d spent a distressing four days readjusting a top that was obviously designed by someone who had never worn one. Please note: this is not a neutral subject for Boat.
Fundamentally what makes a bikini work vs ones that don’t is actually all about fit rather than print. Functional ties that stay tied, a supportive band that hugs your hips instead of digging in, cups/lining with enough padding so a rainy day doesn’t lead to a Mum group chat sabotage. Whether your fabric maintains its shape when saturated is way more important than whether you go monochrome or vibrant.
Cut wise a high leg bikini bottom or a voluminous brief isn’t boutfunkingcial, it’s just a different shape serving a different purpose. Both can and should co-exist in the same drawer.
How you style it is where things get really interesting. Going beyond €just because” you need to chuck on topsy is now what we do. Part of that I think is because a bikini is never just for lounging by the pool these days.

Team that beautiful linen shirt with an under-braigi underneath; leave the top buttons open and push the sleeves up for a lunch that promises a picnic on the beach but ends up at dinner. Throw bikini bottoms underneath a midi skirt (that sees enough air throughout the summer as it is) or a pair of relaxed jeans. It’s a genius move that means you can go from sand to bar without changing. Gold hoops and a well worn straw bag will take you far here. They add enough attitude to make you look like you’re wearing it as an outfit and not spontaneously combusting out of the water, which let’s face it, you also might be.

Speaking of water let’s talk occasions. This is actually one category that I wear for so many different occasions that the options really do need to be versatile. From the pool villa holiday where you spend most of the time (#goals) lying down and need something that looks good in selfies from a lounger. To the city break with a hotel pool to celebrate your freedom for an afternoon that needs to withstand public transport and a hotel lobby without looking like cocktail gear. To actually going for a swim. One where you need to prove your front crawl prowess and not just floating about like paddling dogs. Last but by no means least you want something that ticks all of these boxes without you having to think about it twice. Worst case scenario after my epic bikini fail of 2019, that’s what I ask of a bikini these days.