The Beige Satin Tops Worth Your Money

I lived two years under the staunch belief that beige satin tops were a scam. I bought one from an expensive shop I will never name repeat EDNAME in 2019. Took it out for a birthday dinner once, caught a glimpse of myself in the loo mirror (under those dreadful yellow lights) and looked like a fire door. Threw it in the bin come the next spring. Believe me when I say I understand your hesitations, I existed as them.
But a good beige satin top is worlds apart from that pizza advert monstrosity, and the difference is 99% down to the satin, rather than the colour. Cheap satin lacks lustre, feels a bit plasticy and folds like a crisp packet.

Good satin has weight to it, falls rather than clings as you walk and, most importantly of all, removes creases from a wash within an hour of being hung up. Lessons about how easily something creases is so rarely imparted when you’re asking someone where they’re shopping for the weekend but trust me, it matters. The beige also requires consideration. There’s a beige that reads warm and luxurious on most skin tones, and then there’s the one that reads like a generic bandage. You want the former, and you’ll often not know which is which until you hold the top up to your face outside, not in the biting fluorescents of your local department store.

As for how to wear it; here’s where beige satin truly shines. Layer it under a sharp blazer for WF_BOOLEAN drunk and you instantly look like you’ve made an effort for work drinks without having to think about it too hard, let alone get changed. Slip it into a pair of wide leg trousers with some actual gold jewellery and you look like you tried, but didn’t. My favourite way is actually just thrown over a vest and worn with jeans; my colleague Priya wore hers with battered white trainers to a Tuesday lunch and made everyone else look lazy as we shambled around in heels. It annoyed me so much I spent 90% of my afternoon begrudging her.

Denim. Tailoring. A plain skirt. Really, anything with prints or busy patterns will ruin the sheen and therefore the look. Leave it for the times when you want to look like you made an effort but you don’t want to scream it; dinner dates, those work events with an extra side of sh*ttery you need to wear something nice for, or the kind of Sundays that have a habit of turning into evenings. Just, for the love of all that is holy, avoid the loo stare down if you can. Some lessons are only worth learning once.