Disclaimer: this article mentions wine. Wine I may or may not have purchased at Tesco Metro while doing a quick food shop in Clapham earlier today. Let me start this piece by telling you about the first time I spotted Olivia Colman at Tesco.
Because it was a transformative experience that changed the way I think about real life style versus Insta-style. Three years ago, give or take. I was wearing my least flattering “just nipping out” attire.
Skinny jeans with a hole in the knee that I can’t bear to throw away even though I’ve had them longer than is socially acceptable. A navy jumper that shrunk slightly in the wash but not enough that I really feel compelled to replace with a new one.
Slip-on Skechers that I love but probably shouldn’t leave the house in.
Standing in the wine section (you can’t *swear* on HEREDITARYblog), staring disbelievingly at two bottles of Sauvignon Blanc that were indistinguishable except for their labels’ Instagrammability, when I looked up and caught sight of the cheese aisle.
There she was. Olivia bloody Colman.
QUEEN OF THE CROWN. Oscar-winning legend. Your Tube-travelling hero.
And she looked – and bear with me here – pretty much exactly like me. Better jeans (no best-friend-prank hole showing unceremoniously around her kneecap), but the same washed-out denim, lightweight navy jumper (she’d even managed a tiny coffee stain which felt viscerally satisfying given my own caramel macchiato dribble-down-the-front disaster), white Superga footwear. A baseball cap pulled low down over her eyes, but still one that looked like she’d knocked it on the head by her front door ten seconds before leaving the house rather than some sort of tactical guise.
It was that moment I learned about a unique British genre of celebrity style: the “barely left house but need milk and loo roll” look. It’s not American casual-because-I-know-you’ll-take-photo glamour in expensive, trendy “skintight red separates”; it’s not that breezy je ne sais quoi about French girls wearing flat white tees and rainmacs either. It’s something far more real – and frankly far more shambolic-looking.
As someone who probably spends too much of their life analysing what other people are wearing (it is, sadly, an occupational hazard of working in image-conscious industries like media and finance), I find this phenomenon utterly captivating. In America, grocery shopping IS glamour. Celebrities are photographed wearing £300 dollar-store activewear leggings and attempting to style their hair into messy buns so voluminous they take at least half an hour to create.
Over in Britain, though, when our famous people go to Tesco they look like they really have just rolled out of bed and thrown the first thing they grabbed at from their wardrobe. How else do you explain Adele wearing actual pyjama-style clothing on her outings to her local Tesco Express in West London? A legitimately oversized hoodie, matching joggers and hair that looks like she’s genuinely just got up?
I distinctly remember seeing pap-snapped pictures of her clutching a packet of Digestives in 2012, wearing what was clearly a PJ top with some cheap leggings and looking absolutely livid about her situation. Girl after my own heart. Or Daniel Craig, the man who can look tight-as-a-drumsuit in a pair of Tom Ford trousers without breaking sweat, shopping at Tesco Express wearing jeans you’ve probably got in your drawer, a nondescript jumper, and yes – a flat cap.
British dad AF. There seems to be something of an unwritten uniform amongst British actresses when it comes to low-key grocery shopping. Skinny jeans, Converse-style trainers, oversized coat, blanket-haired fringe and ‘kind-of-not-looking-at-you’ stare.
I’m totally guilty of it too when I just want to pick up some pasta sauce and not have to chat to anyone. Carey Mulligan’s been snapped outside her local Tesco chucking post-ries into her basket wearing the exact look, as has fellow streaky-bready enthusiast Emma Watson. The pair both opt for mostly-neutral vests, jeans, sturdy looking coats (though tbh Emmy’s are probably HIGH end jackets in disguise).
Both favour minimal makeup and authentically unkempt tops knots, not ‘salon-hastily-tweaked tops knots’ that take fifteen bobby pins to keep in place. Male celebrities tend to aim for ‘petrol man’ levels of invisibility when shopping at Tesco. Tom Hardy, who could probably steal whilst wearing a frock and still have people ooh-ing over his ripped torso, becomes your beige neighbour-in-flatcaps with jogging bottoms, an Uniqlo-esque plain tee and possibly the kind of fleecey rain jacket with a hood that 99% of us would wear if we checked the weather app before leaving home.
Gods, I love it – he’s James Bond AND the man who lives three doors down from me. To me, that’s the beauty of British celeb “casual” vs our American counterparts. Forget Cara Delevingne frolicking through The Grove in flared jeans and thigh-high boots that could each cost your monthly rent.
Over here celebrities are genuinely relatable, their off-duty Tesco runs 100% understandable if you squinted at them hard enough. When Chloe and Hugh aren’t battling it out over whose organic brown rice pasta tastes better, they look like regular people who might also, just maybe, have Hot Topic-type jobs. You don’t see hidden-facetialed cut-outs shooting underground hip-hop bangers rocking up to Waitrose in Balenciaga t-shirts and bespoke jeans that we can only dream of affording.
It’s not that British celebs eschew style entirely when popping to the shops – it’s that their outfits just scream-function-over-fashion. There are no Rihanna-worthy sneaks or elusive-yet-on-trend coat stands in these Insta-famous folkies’ wardrobes. Just real clothes that real people might wear.
Take Emily Blunt leaving her local supermarket wearing wellies, straight trousers that may or may not be knicker-smuggling capable, and a staple-fatigue dress that roughly 85% of Britain owns in_least_two_colours. She looked like someone about to head to the school run, not film the next blockbuster poised next to Meryl Streep on the big screen. Same goes for Gemma Arterton shopping at Tesco – skinny jeans, no-frills shirt/top, white trainer-boots and a coat so great I want to know where she got it from.
Again, notTryingTooHard AF. I could list celebrities off forever, but ultimately you get the idea. British celebs LOVE Tesco.
The Duchess of Cambridge has been pictured leaving the supermarket wearing opaque black leggings, flat boots, a sensible coat, and holding a Valentines gift-sack emblazoned with a giant teddy bear (the type of person I am on February 15th). And while Amal Clooney certainly doesn’t NEED to go to the same grocery store as the rest of us plebs, she does – regular woman jeans, trendy knit, sensible shoes. Amal Fucking Clooney rockin’ Nike AirPods-style trainers.
HOW. Hell, there’s even a picture of Helen Mirren – full-DAME, frequent-award-show attendee Helen Mirren – staring incomprehensibly at the self-help machine at Waitrose. WITH OPINION ON GLASSES WEARLED ON A CHAIN. whilst wearing reading glasses on a chain and an expression that screams ‘why do these things exist’ to every socioeconomic class in Britain.
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Idris Elba has also been snapped in Tesco looking horrendously lost, clutching spice jars and wearing joggers and what I can only assume was a gym top – the kind of gym top you only wear when going to the gym – and an effortlessly cool baseball cap. God, even actual footballers do it. Jamie Vardy leaving the store wearing your Dad’s old pair of jeans that are slightly too big on the leg, a cotton jumper that looks like it’s from Tiger and smart-ish boots.
TRULY NO DIFFERENCE THAN ME. Tesco trips are at the mercy of the British weather. We can’t always rely on shining Californian sunshine to pop to the corner shop like our LA friends can; British celebs are subjected to the whims of our terrifying weather like the rest of us.
Think more layers, utility jackets, ‘in-case-it-comes-flooding-down-out-of-nowhere’ footwear. Take Margot Robbie shopping at Tesco wearing wellies, a lightweight denim jacket, oversized shirt/top and skinny jeans. She looked like she was about to feed her children at a school play, not romp about with Jared Leto in a neon mask.
Same goes for Saoirse Ronan popping to Sainsbury’s. Oversized shirt/top, jeans that look like they belong to someone who has worn them for WAY longer than you’ve been alive, sturdy boots and a coat so great I need to know where she got it from. VERYBritish BOSS.
The accessories are equally telling. Where American celebrities will still ‘dress down’ but keep hold of their designer bags and call sunglasses ‘sunwear’, British celebs at Tesco scoff at such things. You’ll see them clutching the same brown Bag for Life as the rest of us, wearing plain gold hoops and sunglasses you’d actually wear if it suddenly stopped raining tomorrow.
Tesco also captures younger British celebs rummaging around for the best deals on own-brand pasta clearer-ish than their Instagrammable counterparts. We’ve seen Tom Holland in what I’d consider ‘premium basics’ on numerous occasions – crisp white tees, classic jeans that wouldn’t look out-of-place in COS or & Other Stories but are 100% not. Same with girlfriend Zendaya, always optisng to wear standard Jumpman logos on her kicks rather than something more avant-garde.
Celebs under 30 seem to have a better grasp on this ‘nice-but-not-too-nice’ look, presumably thanks to growing up with photos of their idols being hunted down by paparazzi left, right and centre. However, they still adhere to the same British Tescowander principles. Most notoriously, there’s Rita Ora leaving her local Tesco in what can only be described as a Nike/Miu Miu collaboration hoodie EXCEPT ON THE BOTTOM IT’S LIKE CROPPED LEGGINGS???.
Rita Ora wearing mens XXL Nike sweatshirt, cut off to shorts. Are they shorts? LEGGING SHORTS??
BUT LIKE RI.II.TA. I’ll admit, there are outliers. Victoria Beckham may as well live in her Primark-hideaway wardrobe, because she never looks LESS than airbrushed and fabulous.
BUT even Victoria has been seen wearing flat shoes instead of heels, jeans rather than figure-skimming dresses. And while we’re talking Beckham, let’s not forget David. Regular shirtsleeves and knit trousers?
David Beckham casually leaving his local supermarket. David Beckham, but chill. Alexa Chung does something similar – still wears jeans, plays around with slightly retro-leaning details BUT YOU CAN TELL ITS ALEXA.
It’s like jazz but made by white people. Celebrities shopping at Tesco remind us that they’re normal people. Sure, some of them wear incredible clothes on the red carpet or the steps of Oxford Street after a personal shopping session at Matches, but they can bloody well wear leggings and a jumper too if they want to.
And frankly, so can we. They also buy normal food. Americans have become obsessed with flaunting the contents of their grocery baskets –usually photographed at farmers’ markets, bragging about kale and berries and vaguely edible products that we can only dream of affording on a stagnant entry-level salary.
Over here? Andrew Garfield picks up white bread, Crunchy Nut Cornflakes and what I’m assuming is a multipack of Tesco Value Salt & Pepper Crisps. Delicious.
Oh, and we all know Kate Moss pops into her local Tesco most weekends to buy gin. FACT. I remember my friend Laura telling me she once saw Dame Judi Dench at Tesco comparing washing detergent lids as if her life depended on it.
Mere yards away from the cafe where she could’ve been buying an artisan-flatwhite-emblazoned sandwich, dressed head-to-toe like your nan would if she were popping to the shops.
I cannot THINK about Dame Judi Dench wondering which washing powder smells more ‘lavender-y’ without a pair of comfy trousers and slide-in shoes.
Hell, even David Bowie ROCKED up to Tesco to buy his groceries.
THE DAVID BOWIE. And just look at him. Jeans, shirt, jacket.
Jewellery optional. If there’s one thing I’ll say about my time working at Tesco, it’s this: buy clothing that you can throw on to leave the house in a rush. Trust me, I spend enough time in meetings wearing ‘nice’ clothes that by the time I leave the office I’ll wear whatever the fuck I want home.
Thanks to spotting Queen Olivia three years ago, I now own approximately 900 pairs of plain black trousers I can toss on when needing to run errands. THEY’RE LIFE CHANGING. Watching celebrities battle the British high street for the best deals on soy milk isn’t just fun, it’s inspiring.
Because while we may never know what Burberry dress Rihanna wore last Sunday to Topshop (or heck, ANY high street store) Olivia COULD have worn to Tesco, we can still channel her off-duty vibes by shopping the same stores she does. Just…and wearing flat shoes.
